I’ve been doing a Bible Study the last month called Resting in Jesus. It has been an amazing time for me to learn more about the truth’s of God and confront my beliefs of who He is and how I have skewed them. We don’t realize how badly we have skewed them until that blind spot is pointed out to us. This is why it is so important to come back frequently to the biblical truths of who God really is. He is not a God that we can create to be who we want, He already is. He’s the creator. He created you and me.
God is so many things. He is Trustworthy. Protector. Good. Just. But what this bible study has shown me these last few weeks is that there are two things in particular I do not always believe about God. Like many people, I pick and choose what parts about God I want to believe, mainly based on how I have seen Him move in my life and in lives of those close to me. I have no problem knowing that God is filled with grace or forgiveness or love because I have experienced those over and over. I clearly remember those times, and the experiences help me to remember those truths about God in moments of need.
What I struggle with believing is His Faithfulness and His Plan for me. When I feel forgotten, it’s easy to think He doesn’t have a plan. When my life hasn’t panned out the way I expected it to by now, it’s easy to think that He is unfaithful. So I sit in my self-centered little world and try to trust in His faithfulness, all the while waiting for Him to prove it. I’m like a drowning child who refuses to let go of the toy I wanted so badly when God is standing there trying to help me out of my self-centered drowning, and He will, if I just let go of that toy. That desire. That expectation. God’s plan does not revolve around me. My story is just the tiniest little piece of the Big God story. A story that is much better than what I can dream up because it’s not about getting my own selfish desires, it’s about bringing Him glory. And in that, He is always faithful!
So what’s next? Well, in the convenient way that God always works, He is now giving me plenty of chances to not just say I believe those truths, but to live in His faithfulness and in His plan. In the next week my husband and I will be starting IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) treatments in hopes of having a baby. If I believe He is faithful, that means He is faithful no matter the outcome of those treatments, baby or no baby. My husband is also at the same time transitioning out of his job in the military and we are facing all of the, “so what’s next” questions. New job, new home, new location. And we don’t know where any of it will be. No matter where we move or don’t move to, there is grief that needs to be processed with those decisions. Either leaving family behind or leaving our closest friends behind. Or both at the same time! But believing in God’s plan and acknowledging that it is His plan and not mine brings comfort in whatever decisions will be made.
God is faithful (1 Cor 1:19). God has a plan that is for my good (Jer 29:11). He has a plan for your good! We just have set our self-centered desires down so we can see Him at work and believe His truths.
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